The story of her passing is one I would rather not relive...except the last part, when she actually died. It is one of the moments in my life I will never ever forget. It definitely was one of those times where I have been quite certain that Christ was standing right next to me, and is so sacred to my family and I.
Anyway, this last week I was reading through my journal and just wanted to share a few notes that I jotted down at her funeral...well at least it is what I think they say. I was pretty much convulsing from my sobbing, so my hand writing is not top notch...but it will do! ;)
Most LDS mothers do a great job in their roles. Few, that I have met, are of the same caliber that my grandma was. Few are serving such callings as achievement day leader at age 90. At one point she thought that with her inability to remember, to hear the children, etc. that it was time to be released. Instead of sharing that thought with the Bishop or Primary President, she shared it with the Father and was led to understand that she should continue. He is a wise Father because she really did a marvelous job and has touch the lives of many girls. Since that time she has not seemed to question but continued to do what she could. She had her "Merry Miss" girls over that Friday before she passed away. That is dedication. She never gave excuses and relied on the Lord for everything.
I want to be exactly like her. All my life she has been the ultimate example of everything. How to be an amazing mom, a faithful Church member, how to rely completely and solely on the Lord, and if you fail at any of these; turn to the Lord because he can and will make you better. She taught me these lessons and so many more, but not by lecture. No, just by the way she lived her life from day to day.
She was constantly sharing her testimony with us, with everyone! The picture above was taken at her 90th birthday celebration, and she is bearing her testimony. Even though she died less than a year later, I heard her bear her testimony at least 10 other times to me and others. I have never ever doubted her testimony of Jesus Christ.
She was always willing to play and constantly wanting to have a good time. When she got a bit older and less mobile, she told me on many occasions how hard it was for her to not always be up and playing with her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She wanted it so badly! Isn't she just adorable?!
What a goofball my grandma was. She was constantly full of life (Shaking her fist at the Dr. after her stroke, while he testing to see how much mobility she had) and such a jokester. For those of you who do not know the cotton balls in cupcakes story, or the chunks of soap she decided to dip in chocolate or any of her other practical joke stories. please let me know! I LOVE telling those! A quick story from one of my last visits over to her house, happened just three weeks before I was starting school. I went over and asked her what exciting things she wanted to do over the weekend. She told me she wanted to go skating, dress up 70's (complete with headbands and parachute pants is what she said) and would be by my apt. to pick me at 7 that night... haha My grandma had hip replacements and could barely get from her chair to standing position in under ten seconds. She no longer was driving and I doubt she had any parachute pants or headbands to wear. But I humored her...or she humored me, and I told her I would be ready at 6:50 and she better not be late. Neither of us ever said Just Kidding.
She had ten children, and raised them without a husband. My grandpa Ellsworth died when my mom (who is the ninth child) was just 9 months old in March of 1960. My Grandma was pregnant with my Uncle Reed and did not even know it, when Grandpa died in a plane crash. (If any of you are feeling confused that their are 11 children in this photo, the one on the front left was my mom's Navajo sister that lived with them for a few years.)
She had 55 grandchildren. Talk about posterity!
...and 110 great grandchildren! What an amazing legacy she, and my grandpa, have left!
I miss her, A LOT. Her death was so much different than any other I have ever experienced. I miss her voice, her laugh and smile, her testimony, her smell and the way she always required/wanted a hug from me EVERY TIME I saw her.
I have yet to forgive her for making us sing "God Be With You Til We Meet Again" at her funeral. How rude.
I always wanted her to meet my husband. I wanted her approval and him to be able to see and recognize what/where our incredible family stems from. Maybe she can give my sisters and I a little help from the other side eh?! ;) She truly is my hero!
She has the same casket as my Grandma Haynie. She saw it at my Grandma's funeral and loved it so much! She told me mom she wanted the same one!
I love this lady with all my heart and soul. She is the foundation of something so much greater than what we can comprehend and has made our family something bigger than anyone else could have. She was/is a rock for so many people and for that I am eternally grateful.
I love you Grandma and miss you every day!
8 comments:
Wow thanks for making me cry all over again! AHHH wish I was good with words like you are because I feel the exact same way, but never could have said it like that! She is truly amazing and definitely one of my heroes! Love her and miss her, but I know she is watching over us everyday, all the while throwing parties and playing pranks with/on Grandpa :)
I love this! I miss her as well. She accepted me as one of her grandkids too!! Brianna is right! You are very good with words and writing!
Love you tons!
she sounds incredible - strong and faithful.
families are the greatest.
That was beautiful Miss Kendra. Have you ever heard Rascall Flatts song "Ellsworth"? Maybe it should be your grandma's song. :) You're amazing girl! That was a sweet post!
Really powerful post.
Kendra pretty much you are amazing. I was all but in tears while reading this. I wish that I knew your Grandma, she sounds amazing. Anyway I really think we should play sometime!
Kendra, I love you. Your grandma is proud of you, without a doubt. A lot of people are :)
This post made me cry, because now she gets to be with her husband, think of how incredibly sweet that is.
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